Today i am working at Arecibo. Instead of doing what i should do here, i've made a pause in my tasks to think a little about my life... Arecibo is a place that i like to work at because here life goes at a different rythm. Everything is less stressful than in San Juan, no traffic jams, not a lot of concrete everywhere, nice views while driving...
So i think this is the perfect place for my mind to fly and stare about a lot of things. In example, when did i stop dreaming? When did i stoped believing in myself? When did i lost trust in people? I am 30 years old. What have i done with my life until now? Am I really happy?
I dont know why i always think abut the things i dont have instead of being happy for the things i do have... I have friends of my same age that are sick and thanks God i am healthy, i have kids, a job that helps me pay my bills, i have a lot of people that cares about me... I know i am not a bad person but sometimes i just forget this... That's why maybe i am here today... Because life just wanted to remind me that things are not as bad as they seem to be. That i never stopped dreaming... i just stopped acting, fighting, achieving... that i have to keep going, working, trusting and loving. That among all the "bad things" that i think happened to me, there are people that have same or even worst difficulties than me. People dying without food, people dealing with war, addictions, disease, loneliness...
Everyone has a "fucking problem" to deal with!! So i am feeling better now... because i know i am doing the best i can... i know that with my family bakground it could be worst. I know stories about people that had all the tools for succes and they fall into the darkest holes. At least i am living pretty good. Tears will always come. Troubles? They come for free, but what really matters is the lessons that all this 30 years have give to me. Lessons i will never forget.
Lessons, tears, pain, troubles, happiness, sharing, love... All of these is who i am. And i am proud of myself. Today i came out to the conclusion that i am a wonderful woman!!
So i think this is the perfect place for my mind to fly and stare about a lot of things. In example, when did i stop dreaming? When did i stoped believing in myself? When did i lost trust in people? I am 30 years old. What have i done with my life until now? Am I really happy?
I dont know why i always think abut the things i dont have instead of being happy for the things i do have... I have friends of my same age that are sick and thanks God i am healthy, i have kids, a job that helps me pay my bills, i have a lot of people that cares about me... I know i am not a bad person but sometimes i just forget this... That's why maybe i am here today... Because life just wanted to remind me that things are not as bad as they seem to be. That i never stopped dreaming... i just stopped acting, fighting, achieving... that i have to keep going, working, trusting and loving. That among all the "bad things" that i think happened to me, there are people that have same or even worst difficulties than me. People dying without food, people dealing with war, addictions, disease, loneliness...
Everyone has a "fucking problem" to deal with!! So i am feeling better now... because i know i am doing the best i can... i know that with my family bakground it could be worst. I know stories about people that had all the tools for succes and they fall into the darkest holes. At least i am living pretty good. Tears will always come. Troubles? They come for free, but what really matters is the lessons that all this 30 years have give to me. Lessons i will never forget.
Lessons, tears, pain, troubles, happiness, sharing, love... All of these is who i am. And i am proud of myself. Today i came out to the conclusion that i am a wonderful woman!!
1 comment:
Glad to know you're reaching that conclusion.
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